Philosophy on Girl’s Bullshit
Disclaimer: That Single Guy did not write this. It was on a bulletin on MySpace and I thought it was worthy to post here since it’s pretty damn true. I don’t know who to give credit to, so whatever.
So, gather around boys and girls. Today Roll-D’s going to have a fireside chat about the wonderful and exciting creation, known as women. I might have over did it with the wonderful thing. However, they can be exciting. I digress, my experiences have led me to several conclusions, or rules of thumb if you will. I will list these accordingly.
Sugar melts, Shit floats.
Number one thing to look at with a women, if you toss her out in the rain and she disappears, she was probably a good woman. Test yours and see what happens.
No one could fight in the first two months.
Theres just to much sex in the first of this debacle you’ve started with a woman. She’ll overlook those things like your shoes on the rug, dishes in the sink,. nasty ass house and/or roomates. She might even overlook your parents snippy remarks. This is the best time to own a woman, after that things get hairy. In the literal and metaphoric sense of the word.
Herds.
Women flock in groups unless you snag one. This phenomenon is usually outlined in winecoolers, obnoxiously loud laughing, to much make-up and not enough midol. Very dangerous, approach with caution. You may catch ones eyes, but the rest with pounce on the situation and you’ll be an asshole before the end of the day. Penetrate the herd and leave with the weakest. Animal instincts baby.
Sluts, whores, floozies, and/or ho’s.
Every girl has the potential for a slut in them. Most of them achieve this status at least once in their life. This normally happens between the ages of 16 to 22, if your woman/women, are in this demographic, dont get serious, you’ll get stepped on. If you dont do the stepping.
If your not hitting it, someone else is.
Girls that are used to getting sex, are going to keep getting it. It doesn’t matter if its you or not. Its really your fault for not exercising moderation, but who cares. If you leave, or something goes awry, she’ll be running a flag up someone else meat pole in no time. Give it a month. You can avoid this by simply just not giving a fuck. (see addition at the bottom for further elaboration.)
Trusting a woman is like trusting pedophile with a 6 year old.
Bad idea. You may have illusions on trust, and it solidifies your feelings with your women. WRONG. That just makes you a vulnerable idiot who’s asking for it. Keep tabs on her, try to get it on the sneak. Know who shes around, don’t go strait for the source. She might like the fact that your involved, even though its because you need to know when its time to bail.
Break ups.
Who cares. She was going to leave you eventually, theres no reason to cry. Just get back out there and grab another one. If you were smart, you realized this perpetual decline and already sited some prospects. So no worries mate, you’ll be just fine, and so will your meat and two veg.
Hitting.
Hitting a female is pretty much frowned on in most cultures. Just abandon those ideas right now. Shes going to hit you, it will eventually happen. Just prepare for it, and be a man. Ive been decked by a few females, and its never funny. Lets say she wont quit hitting you. Hold her down until she stops, use caution upon release. Theres only one exception to the rule. if she spits in your face. I don’t know your reaction, but mine involves swinging like im in a prize fight against Chuck Liddel. So if she does something that stupid, just react accordingly.
Solution to all of your problems:
QUIT GIVING A FUCK, if i ever gave a fuck ever again, it’ll be a cold day in hell. I made the mistake of caring about things, and it sucked. You can avoid any of these problems and still have a sustaining time with a woman. Shes starts bitching? Who cares, let her win, you already know your opinion anyway, why say it. She fucks a drug dealer from a different race while your out of town and cons you into buying a god damn pregnancy test. FUCK IT, you should’ve followed the rules and been prepared. The real lesson in this whole thing is simple, Women are great and evil and they will eat your soul through your facial extremities if your not careful. Shes just as likely to flip out and kill you as Charles Manson. So just ignore her, the phrases “uh-huh” and “yea, sure love” are always good ones. I’m telling you fellas, trust me from my mistakes. So stay manly, and quit giving a fuck. Remember to guard your soul and your jewels and life will stay rewarding. Keep it rockin’
Most Commented Posts
If you enjoyed this post, please consider to leave a comment or subscribe to the feed and get future articles delivered to your feed reader.
I agree with author of this article! Very cool stuff